i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
