I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
