This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize