In the future we'll all be gay
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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