The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
