the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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