I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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