i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pants are for mortals
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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