no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
