the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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