i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
