Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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