I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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