I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize