its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
