lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
