i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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