I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
