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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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