That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
