Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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