im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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