I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
