Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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