This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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