We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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