I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
