oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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