Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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