well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
