what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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