What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
