i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
