Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
