I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I supernannyed him into submission
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
