Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
