I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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