so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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