You work out of a Hotel?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
