she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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