carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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