So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My bed smells like the plague
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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