True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The power of my boobs compel you