Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings

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  (206): A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings http://tfl.nu/86t1
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  (727): View more from Florida

  she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?

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  (727): she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no? http://tfl.nu/lc3u
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  (631): View more from New York

  we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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  (631): we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!" http://tfl.nu/dw66
  Replies (15) Good night (3289) Bad night (817)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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  (305): Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere. http://tfl.nu/rhba
  Replies (22) Good night (1134) Bad night (6538) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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  (501): recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree. http://tfl.nu/wbc5
  Replies (86) Good night (9088) Bad night (4252) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard

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  (863): And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard http://tfl.nu/4drm
  Replies (22) Good night (7969) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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  (510): answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/6rsg
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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  (636): It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference. http://tfl.nu/wkzw
  Replies (14) Good night (4271) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.

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  (215): I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns. http://tfl.nu/6hbs
  Replies (9) Good night (4076) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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  (201): On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in http://tfl.nu/9hap
  Replies (8) Good night (3681) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?

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  (270): I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today? http://tfl.nu/zwes
  Replies (5) Good night (1754) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.

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  (604): Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas. http://tfl.nu/feay
  Replies (11) Good night (2123) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

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  (407): Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time. http://tfl.nu/ap64
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  ...how and why.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  PARENTS ARE MAGIC.

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  (248): I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS. (586): ...how and why. (248): PARENTS ARE MAGIC. http://tfl.nu/swgi
  Replies (7) Good night (712) Bad night (279)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.

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  (505): It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row. http://tfl.nu/22so
  Replies (6) Good night (185) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt

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