I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go