His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
