I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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