So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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