Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
