I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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