we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
