Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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