Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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