THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
