I look better un-naked...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
