But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize