so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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