Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize