smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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