you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize