Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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