i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They have beer where we have blood.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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