my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
