butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
