ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
These tits shall not be calmed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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