so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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