maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
